I was a newly divorced single mom with a 3-year old and a storm of thoughts racing through my mind: Did I just fail at another relationship? Will I be able to support us financially? What is wrong with me? And my favorite: What is my purpose in life; what should I be doing career-wise?
My intuition had retreated somewhere deep inside me and I could not hear it. I am not sure I could have even listened to it at that time. I felt so unsure of things and wanted advice and guidance about what was best for me – someone who knew better than me what I needed, an Expert. In my desperate state, I reached out to an astrologer who was well-known in in the San Francisco Bay Area, and booked a phone session with her. I paid my money, sent her my birth date, time and location, and waited impatiently for our quite pricey phone call to roll around.
When it happened, our call seemed short. She gave me some general information on how my current job was the best at the moment, how no new relationships were coming my way, and how maybe in a couple of years I could start moving in a different career direction – something like sales, if I recall correctly. I waited until I could ask my questions and, when the time came, I asked, “What about Horses? They keep coming to me in my thoughts and my visions. Can you see anything about Horses?” Her response was, “Nope. There are no Horses in your chart”. She sounded so certain. I felt my heart sink. “But they keep coming to me! I keep seeing them. There must be something to explain that!” She responded authoritatively, “Horses represent freedom and that is what you are longing for.” After a pause she said, “You will never own a Horse”. I was quiet. And then, as if to rub salt in the wound, she added, “Horses are expensive and require money. You will never be wealthy.”
I can still remember how I felt when I hung up the phone that day. It was the sad and sinking feeling of a dream being crushed – a dream I couldn’t explain, since I had never had horses in my life before. It was a mystery: why were they calling? Why were they running towards me every time I closed my eyes?
It took me a few weeks to get over that feeling, and I simply couldn’t accept this verdict that had been handed to me by the astrologer. Eventually I had to know how someone could presume to tell another person what would or wouldn’t happen in their lives. Based on what? So, I took a private astrology class with another Bay Area astrologer, and learned that astrology serves to provide guidance rather than rigid predictions. Our futures are not set in stone; we are not passive pawns of Fate! My beautiful Reiki master once told me that she outgrew her horoscope, and so I decided to outgrow my own horoscope and race whole heartedly after the dreams that had been chasing me every night.
Continue to Part II
